DEMO-MAN Masters of the Universe: Classics REVIEW!!!

Okie-dokie...my first review of one of Mattel's Masters of the Universe: Classics figures! They've been putting these out for a while now, and I figured I'd start with Demo-Man, since he was an odd sort of prototype for an early villain for the famous 80s toy line...before it was famous...or even in existence! For those of you who don't know, the Classics line was conceived as a toy line for adult collectors still in love with the old property. So, dorks like me, pretty much! I had MotU toys back in the day like every other boy in the 80s. I didn't have every single figure or vehicle, but I had enough to like the toys and 'toon. I researched it in the late 90s into early 2000s when I got on the 'net and fell back in love, even harder! Mattel had planned to give the series new life, and did. Sadly, the new figures and show were kind of a flop...only old fans really got into it. Eh, it had its flaws. The toys were cool, but the distribution sucked! It was hard to get the obscure characters and such. The show was okay, but they tried too hard to make it action-heavy...plus the stories were sub-par...cool in their own little way, but not awesome. Anyway...MotU never really came back in a BIG way. The show got canceled, and the new toys soon followed. Mattel ended up giving the revival another chance, but as a toy-only thing meant for serious collectors. Hence, the Classics line was born. The figures capture the look and feel of the old characters, while adding more mature details and aesthetics. Cool. These were only released a couple o' figures a month and only on Mattel's website. I tried to stay away from the line, wanting to save money, but got sucked in...that's its own story! You could join a club and get a subscription, but I didn't want every single toy. Yeah, you can buy up to ten of each figure which sucks for the "little guy"...I ended up getting most of mine from eBay scalpers, sadly...thankfully, I didn't pay too much for most of 'em. To this day, fans are still whining over certain issues with the Mattel site, the ordering, and pricing (myself included), but at least the figures are kick-ass enough for me to come a-crawlin' back!

So, who is this guy, Demo-Man? Well, see...this guy was basically a preliminary drawing for the villain of the toy line. Back in the day, legend has is that the toy line that would eventually become Masters of the Universe was gonna be a toy line for the Conan property, but said character was considered too violent and grim. That's ONE story of the MotU origin, but anyway...He-Man looked a lot like Conan on paper. He had the dark hair, and horned helmet and all that jazz. They actually made a figure of that early He-Man in the Classics line earlier and called him Vikor: Heroic He-Man of the North! The opposing bad guy was gonna be this dude: Demo-Man...and if you know anything about MotU, you may see and odd resemblance to the main bad guy to come. In some ways, it's like Demo-Man was split into Skeletor and Beast Man based on his designs. Interesting stuff...I'd prattle on, but I hate typing so much! The figure is damn close to the original sketch. The color was added later by the artist (eh, forget his name all the time). The toy itself is awesome, and I actually like it much better in person. See, I was only kinda interested in him at first...but couldn't pass him up. Glad I didn't! He seems to use a bunch of all-new parts...even the limbs. See, in true MotU fashion, Mattel reused/recolored the body components of the old toys...so for the new line, they followed that old tradition. Some may say that's cheap...and it is. In the old days, they were just a company trying to get money. After MotU got bigger, you can look back and notice how the toys got "better" and used more original parts. The limbs and main bodies got reused the most in the early days, and even a lot of weapons. They even reused old parts a bit in the closing days of the line's popularity. The Classics did that to to keep up with the faith. I can prattle on, but like I said...too much typey-type! Aside for the obvious new head (s) and weapons, looks like the arms and legs are new sculpts too! Nice. You can remove his shoulder pads, his shirt, and to an extent his arm band...if you pop his arm off. He comes with a sword and mace, like in the original vintage drawing. He even comes with a little skull-head from the background of the drawing...which you can use as an actual head...Demo-Man's can pop off. Most of the Classics can do this, as most have interchangeable heads for whatever reason. Eh, the skull doesn't look that great on any character, really. Just a neat idea. The toy itself is just plain cool. I love it. I love this weird green ogre man that would have been the main baddie for MotU. He seems to be half-rotted or sickened by sheer evil. Look at that mug! He seems to have a row of worn-down cranial ridges above his bejeweled brow. A small bone is knotted into his grimy beard. An adornment...or a dining mishap? You decide! His garb is that of a man who cares not of fanciness...a rugged tunic and a haphazardly constructed shoulder pad set rest on his back. There's even a tuft of green hair poking through the armor...just like on the old art...nice detail! I just love the sculpt on his new limbs...veiny! So beastly and raw...love the new foot sculpt too! Oh, and like I said, you can pop off his head. Yep, one last accessory is a third head. It's a new Skeletor head...one sculpted to look like the one from the oldest mini-comic where the character first appeared!

Oh, yesssss! See, in more modern times, fans have tried to make sense of all the weird inconsistencies in the Masters of the Universe mythos...seems you get a lot of story hang-ups in the various media...the mini-comics, the regular comics, the cartoon, the storybooks, etc. Skeletor was originally a guy named Keldor in most canons. We never really got to see a vintage Keldor, since he was only referred to. See, before he became Skeletor, Keldor was a servant of Hordak (another MotU baddie, as well as a She-Ra foe, too). Keldor was supposed to eventually free his teacher from his dimensional prison, but didn't...and then Keldor was mortally wounded in battle and got fixed up from afar by his master, Hordak. It wasn't until recently, that the idea of using the old Demo-Man character in the mythos came about. The designers and writers for this stuff decided that Keldor should be magically bonded with a powerful entity named Demo-Man to fix him up form his wounds...and THAT would be how Skeletor became so powerful and came to have his boney puss! Only, so fans wouldn't freak out that Skeletor wasn't Skeletor, they made it so Keldor had the dominant mind (so to speak) in the backstory on Demo-Man's packaging. Sadly, I kinda threw it out before I started writing this...damn! This also explains why, in the first vintage mini-comic, Skeletor was trying to free "his people" by using the power of Castle Grayskull. See, story-wise, Keldor had gone temporarily mad form the bonding process to the spirit of Demo-Man...and Hordak used that to screw with his mind and coax the new Skeletor to free him. Didn't work, but Hordak eventually got free by other means. Eh, it works...I accept it for what it is...as a true dork!

For the new head...it looks nice on the Demo-Man body...the skull matches the skin...almost as is Demo-Man had a nice shave! It looks way creepier than the first Classics Skeletor noggin...and just like it did in the first mini-comic appearance. That alone is too cool for school! This shall be my new default Skeletor head. Not that the older one was bad...this one is just better...look at that thing! Creepsville U.S.A.! Well, hopefully I'll do more MotU Classics reviews...maybe cover some older releases...who knows.

Okay, my little stay-cation is nearly at an end...it's the weekend, so it'll be back to work on Monday as usual...rats!!! Most of my vacation, I pretty much just farted around...I did end up going "out" two nights this week...a true rarity! Yep, was supposed to go out for wings on Tuesday, but it didn't happen. I was sad. No, wait...it was Wednesday, I think...anyway...did go out to some bar whatever night that wings was gonna happen. They had a "dub-step night". Eh, it was alright. Beforehand, me and a friend stopped at one of his friend's houses to pick up some folk. Got mauled by their dog, but it was a maul of love...didn't hurt. For a pit bull, it was kinda cute! Watched the end half of A Clockwork Orange, and ended up quoting the damn flick for the next two nights. I drove, which was mildly nerve wracking...but I maintained. The bar was pretty full for a middle of the work week. No real douche bags in there...which was nice. Ended up meeting up with some folks. Had me a few drinkie-drinks (yeah, not really kosher for the driver) and played some pool (which I can't really play, well or otherwise). Aside from minor chit-chat, nothing else major really happened. Frankly, it's times like these I do indeed wish I had me a nice girlfriend. Would have loved to bust a few moves on the dance floor, but without a partner...gaaaaaaay! Sorry for the slur, but seriously...you know what I mean...AND..nobody cool really gives a shit 'bout that petty language issue anymore, do they? At any rate...yeah, woulda loved me some nice dancin'! *sigh*

We were supposed to go back to the one guy's place to hang out and stuff, but I figured we'd best head home. Eh...don't wanna fall asleep driving. There were plans made to go bowling on Thursday, though. Turns out...ta-da (!)...we did end up going for wings before bowling! Oh boy! Hadn't had some good wings in a while. Went to this place called Major League. I've been there a couple of times...not bad. This time, it was almost a full house! A nice group, we had...a couple of our party couldn't finish their wing orders (pssssh...poseurs!), and it turns out you were apparently not allowed to take home the extras due to the rules of that particular wing night...I guess they were cheaper for "in-house" wings. Ha ha ha...seems so silly, but those who could not finish, actually were not allowed to take home their uneaten food! Wow, just seems so petty and bizarre, but dems da rules!!! Bowling was decent...played a few dollar games (Thursday is dollar night). I usually suck at bowling, and tonight was no different. I was the "decider" for a win on the last frame, but I choked...TWO gutter balls...lost by one point. I hate myself...*sigh*...but it was all in fun (I hope)!

There was supposed to be another outing and get-together, but I ended up not going. It was raining pretty hard here on Friday, and I didn't feel like driving in it. Yeah, kind of a grampa reason, but I also didn't feel like hitting up some sports bar. One of the guys going was only going since he collects fancy beer glasses, and you apparently got one free that night. After that, they were gonna go over someone's place to watch a bootleg movie. I, uh, really am not into the whole pirate thing...I didn't mention that, but it bugs me a tad. Eh. Did feel kinda sad on missing out on the "get-together" aspect of it. Ended up falling asleep at home, listening to Seal's greatest hits!

Might go catch my brother's play tonight...one I tried out for and didn't get into. He actually was replacing a guy that had to drop out the week before opening! I think I may have mentioned that here before. Anyway...might go. I just got a call for the movies, but it was too last-minute and I was lazy and hadn't showered yet...ugh! Wanted to see Girl With the Dragon Tattoo or Red Tails...but my chums were into The Grey. Eh, I can fight wolves outside any day...if I wanted. Next time!

The hunt for Zombie Vipers continues!

Damn...damn, damn, damn, DAMN!!! Where in the Hell are all the Zombie Vipers?! Pffft, where are all the G.I. Joes, for that matter? See, I know I mentioned my quest for the elusive last wave of Joes from 2011 before. Presumably, any new Joe stock any store gets will be old waves from 2011...since in the spring, new movie product shall be arriving. You'd think most retailers that did carry Joes would keep 'em on until the movie stuff arrives. No. Dammit! At this point, pretty much all stores have had their reset for the new year. I was waiting to go on a true toy hunt until my vacation (which is this week). It was a bust.

I had actually went out last Wednesday in the southern wing of my usual stompin' ground. K-Mart has not had Joes for a while. There are two Wal-Marts in that vicinity of PA...one in St. Clair and one in Hometown. St. Clair was apparently still carrying Joes, but the pegs were bare. A load of Crimson HISS tanks were on the shelf below, though...I'm not into those. Hometown would not be carrying them. Now today...oh, today! Well, yesterday, I had planned to go out and get it over with. It was a bit rainy out and with it being winter, I wasn't taking chances. This morning, it was dry and sunny...woulda been warm had it not been for the wind and passing clouds later. Great day! First stop was Wilkes-Barre Wal-Mart...nothing...not even on the new modulars! Joe had been dropped! Yep, this was the ONE place I had my hopes rested on. I had gotten my last new Joes there and there was evidence of the wave featuring Zombie Viper. I was devastated. I did find a bunch of Joes in the clearance grotto of Lawn & Garden...mostly Renegades Cobra Commander and Firefly...I did pick up another new style Cobra Troop, at least...for five bucks. They had the new wave of Thundercats, but the one truly new character was unsurprisingly absent. HMPH! Target would be carrying Joes too, but they had one lone Cobra Commander on the pegs and none in the stockroom...bummer. I checked Ross just in case...they sometimes got old or hard-to-find toys. Nope. Did have a Transformers Generations Perceptor for $6.99...that pissed me off! I had broke down a while back and got one off eBay for over twice that (but that's another story). Toys R Us still had the same old stock from waaaaay before Christmas...more unwanted common Joes for the Renegades 'toon. So, Wilkes-Barre was a bust. I bypassed the Pittston Wally World 'cause they suck...there toy selection is horrible...nothing!


Onto Dickson City! Wal-Mart there also would not be carrying them. WHAT?! They are a bigger volume store and have always carried stuff other Wal-marts don't...so damn surprising and disheartening! Target, next door, carried Joes, but only had the usual suspects: Renegades Cobra Commander, Firefly and Snake Eyes. I quick stopped at some store called "BAM!" since I heard it replaced the old Borders book store there...eh, nothing cool...almost looked the same as Borders, but way less comics and such...bummer. Last stop was the Toys R Us up there...again, they still had Joes, but just the usual stuff...*sigh*...I popped into JOANN Crafts and finally decided it was time to make that puppet or puppets I had long dreamed of making...finally bought enough (I hope) supplies to construct several. There...I said it! Now, I have to make at least one! Stay tuned.

..........oh, and...DAMN YOU HAS-BLOW!!! Why couldn't you make more Zombie Vipers!!!! ARGH!!!!

ZARANA

Figured while I'm on a good, hot G.I.Joe kick...I'd shown off this convention figure of Zarana. I got this off eBay, as I didn't have the time or desire to go to this particular convention nor any other convention (not really my bag). I did absolutely have to get this figure, since pain-in-the-ass Hasbro couldn't just release it all normal-like at retail (grrrrrrrr).

As you can tell, I care nothing for collectible status...I open my toys...anything else is utter nonsense. Nonsense, I tells ya! Anyway, once you shuck the vintage style package, you get a truly awesome modern upgrade of the classic character. I mentioned her numerous times while jabbering about the BBTS Dreadnoks set. She's the sister of Zartan...master of disguise and leader of the Dreadnoks. Zarana is basically the second in command. She's also supposedly better at acting, but don't tell her brother! The new version is quite faithful to the vintage figure. They even kept her weird saw-gun...oh, and gave her a new rifle too with a blade on it...I think Ripper and someone else had the same gun. There was only one vintage Zarana incarnation. The old toy got reused in modern convention packs and comic packs at certain retailers...we also got a new Zarana during the Spy Troops days, but she looked totally different from her vintage self. Interesting...not bad, but not that great. This is the first new Zarana toy since then. I know alotta fans grumbled (myself included) that she was being released as a convention exclusive...so idiots like me shelled out money to buy this toy on the secondary market...hey, I had to! It's Zarana! I actually forget how much I ended up paying for her. Honest! It was probably above forty bucks, though...*shudder*! They also made a special all-black (except for her skin) figure, which made her look like a Fiend (Misfits fan). Don't know if that was intentional. I'm actually quite happy with the figure. Again, she looks stellar. Most of the old female figures had what you might consider "sex-appeal" on their card art depictions, but the figures did not. Hey, these were toys for little boys at the time...not toys for big-boy adult pervs! Well, I'm a big-boy adult perv now, and I actually find this new Zarana kinda...sexy...*ahem* for an action figure. Hey, I am a huge dork, after all! She has that classic mean look to her like she means business. Her character always seemed so bitchy and mean, anyway...so it works. I just love this figure. I just don't love that I paid waaaay too much for her. I swear, if Hasbro does some normal retail release...I'm gonna scream!

BULL (previously known as Taurus)

Last, but not least, is Taurus...now called Bull. Yes, another name change. Naturally, I like Taurus better so I shall refer to him as such. Taurus, like most of the other figures, is a pretty close representation of the classic character. Two notable differences: no mustache, and no gold codpiece on his crotch. Bummer. He actually doesn't look bad, though...even without these. The color scheme is the same as the vintage version. Taurus' character was an ex-circus performer and he had also apparently worked with governments on "secret missions" in the past. He's also apparently a whacko. Yeah, even Sarge referred to him as having "a few loose bats in his belfry"...so I'll accept that he's crazy. He hails from Turkey...the country...not the bird. I'm not sure if people were red-heads over there or not. Yep, he's a ginger! As I mentioned, his new look is sans his old mustache. He kinda looks like Hellboy or Jet Black from Cowboy Bebop...would make an excellent custom figure for either. I just generally like him. I kinda assume that Road Pig's sword may or may not have been intended to come with Taurus. Sure, the original figure did not come with one, but he was seen brandishing one in his animated debut...he even cut himself a bit screwing around with it! I'm not an expert on Turkish bladeworks, but it seems to work with him anyway...just looks natural. I just plain like the new Taurus, that's it!

Well, that's it for the two BBTS Joe packs. The Dreadnok set was awesome and filled out the remainder of the ranks, while the Marauders set was only half awesome...well, a little less that half (odd number). I would have rather seen a "normal" Falcon and a Sarge figure. and maybe some all-new Renegades characters and had it a full-on Renegades set as opposed to a Marauders one. Sgt. Slaughter did get a few figures made, but they were convention exclusives and go for big money...damn. Supposedly, they (Hasbro) might do a non-convention release of Sarge, but it's only rumor at this point. I did break down and get a convention Zaranna, which I will cover in time.

RED DOG

This is Red Dog. There was (or maybe still is) a beer called Red Dog, so I'm surprised they didn't give this guy a new name. Weird. Anyway, this was the guy who was booted out of pro football for unnecessary roughness. He's got a Polynesian background, hence his adornments. The headband and necklace carry over from the classic Red Dog, while the tattoos are new...as is the facial hair. Old Red Dog had no beard or mustache. The old one also had decorative arm bands and a belt buckle which this one does not. I kinda miss those, even though I never owned any of these figures before. I just miss the look. He also a black chest harness and a different jersey. The old jersey was all red with white sleeves, while this one is mostly white with red shoulders. His number is still the same. I'll admit, I ain't a sports fan at all. I do notice that the Joe roster has a lot of different sport references amongst its members. Most seem football-related. I like the look of the vintage Red Dog better but this one is still okay. Still captures the feel of the character. He also comes with a football this time! Yep, he can toss around the ol' pigskin with the other Joes! The package even warns the presence of "small balls" a child can choke on...this is said ball. Tee hee hee..."small balls"! They gave him the "big guy" body physique which fits the character perfectly. Love that. He's actually my least favorite Renegade but it's good to have him and his brethren all together. Another note about Red Dog's character. He seems to have issues with teamwork. Aside from being booted outta the pros, in the flick he exhibited a lax attitude towards team playing...I guess that's why he was under Sarge's watch, to learn teamwork..."we all go home, or no one goes home"...

MERCENARY (previously known as Mercer)

Okay, now time for the real main event of the BBTS exclusive Slaughter's Marauders set...the Renegades! Yep, as I mentioned before, the Marauders and Renegades are technically separate entities, even if both under Sgt. Slaughter's command. There were only ever three Renegades. These guys were considered too unconventional to truly be fully integrated into the G.I. Joe roster. So, basically, they are the freaks and weirdos of the group, segregated due to their eccentricities. HARUMPH!!! Kinda seems unfair, but whatever...it's the world of military fantasy! Onward!

This guy is Mercer, now known as Mercenary probably due to a copyright issue with the Mercer name. I will, of course, refer to him as Mercer. See, Mercer's schtick is that he was an ex-Cobra...a Viper to be exact. Apparently the only Cobra ever to defect to the Joes according to lore. I'm pretty sure there were no ranks in the trio of Renegades, but if I had to pick a "main guy" it'd be Mercer. He always seemed the most together of the Renegades. They made their debut in the old animated movie. Mercer had a sort of dashing English accent of sorts...they call it "trans-Atlantic" in theatre circles. Made him seem so cool! He's got a grudge against Cobra values so he's all to happy to trounce on his former employers and give away secrets of their operations. He actually still wears the Cobra colors, probably as a razz to Cobra. This new version is fairly close to the classic one. He always just had a classic, generic adventure gear look to his uniform...not really military. He was the only Renegade to get an all new sculpt down the line and get reused again. I'd say his second version (with facial hair, darker colors, and armor) is superior in look, but that's just me. I wish I could show off both vintage versions! This new version still rocks pretty hard. I love the addition of the anti-Cobra tattoo on his arm. Kinda makes you wonder if he just got it straight-up or if he had a Cobra tattoo and later added the crossed circle after he joined the Joes.

Marauders FALCON

Yet another ugly-colored Marauders figure...the last one, thank God. I'll be glad to get 'em outta the way to talk about the Renegades! Anyhow, this is Falcon or Lieutenant Falcon. See, he's the odd man out of sorts since he never had an official Marauder counterpart in the 80s run. Nope. Aside from Sarge himself, Spirit, Barbecue, and Low-Light, we also had Footloose and Mutt in the Marauders, but not Falcon! See in the old animated Joe movie, Falcon (Duke's half-brother) was that jerk guy who screwed up but eventually redeemed himself and helped save the day. He more or less, abandoned his post and let the forces of Cobra free a captured Serpentor and get some good soldiers hurt. He was gonna be court marshaled but instead Duke got him off the hook and a chance to redeem himself. Falcon got sent to train with Sargent Slaughter and his merry band of Renegades. That's probably the reason they threw the character of Falcon in this set. The Marauders color scheme was just a novelty, I guess. I never had a vintage Falcon. I think the made one in one of the 2000s series, but he kinda sucked. They made one for the 25th Anniversary waves too, but I think he kinda sucked too...gotta dig him out. I guess I was never a Falcon fan. He was the jerk who got off the hook! Bah...nepotism! This version is nice, but the color scheme is still ugly as sin. It actually might have worked if not for that yucky pea soup green that stands out for some reason as an eyesore in my mind. One nice point is the removeable beret! I love a good jaunty beret! The angle and glare in my head shot photo make it look like he has this slicked lock of hair swooping down the side of his head. Trick of the camera...doesn't look that intense. I really need to dig out that first modern Falcon, as I'm pretty sure that one had a different sculpt. If they would just give this version a better color scheme, we'd be in business!

Marauders BARBECUE

What do you think of when you hear the word "barbecue"? Delicious smoked meats, libations, good friends, family, fun and G.I. Joe firemen! Barbecue was originally a military firemen. His toy never had a removeable helmet, but he often removed it on the show. The new one doesn't have a removeable helmet either. The 25th Anniversary Barbecue was great. I always loved the character visually, even if he did come across as a weird knight or robot with that permanent helmet. The old Marauders version was ugly. I've said that before and I'll say it again. At least they didn't make his mask all blue, but left some metal highlights this time! Structurally, the figure still parties hearty (just like Barbecue's character), but the color scheme still don't do it for me, even if it is an improvement over the old Marauders one.

Marauders LOW-LIGHT

The original Low-Light was badass. I technically have an old one...a broken figure in a junk bin somewhere. I never had one as a kid, but remember him form the cartoon. They remade him for the Pursuit of Cobra, not too long ago. Still cool! This Marauders homage is made using the Pursuit of Cobra mold. The POC one came with a crap-load of accessories, unlike the vintage character. Hey, I guess a real sniper has more gear these days, eh? Anyway, this Marauders version is totally neutered of most of those POC accessories. The old Marauders Low-Light looked ugly and not badass at all. At least the new one isn't as ugly. Doesn't hold a candle to the POC one at all. At least they made his goggles red, unlike the old one which had blue ones. UGH! That ugly, primary blue just looks so bad on these AND the vintage ones! Nothin' more to say about this guy. Sorry.

Marauders SPIRIT

Okay, now time to move onto Slaughter's Marauders! This set has a compound history to it. Three out of these seven guys in this Big Bad Toy Store exclusive set are actually from a small subgroup called The Renegades, while the other four are Marauders. They (Hasbro) just kinda grouped them all together since both groups are under the watch and leadership of one Sgt. Slaughter! First I'll get the Marauders out of the way since I don't really care that much for 'em...ehhhh...sorry, I just don't! See, the original Slaughter's Marauders were one of many "color-coded" subgroups in the G.I. Joe team. Sometimes Hasbro would take old figures and re-release 'em under some new banner, all with some matching color scheme. More popular examples of this are the Tiger Force, Python Patrol, or Night Force. The Marauders had a yucky camo theme to their uniforms...a kind of layered color camo print...not the usual marbled or swirled colors but uneven layers of green, light green, brown, with black and blue highlights. I wish I could show my guide scans, but can't so I don't do any copyright infringement (a sensitive subject these days). My brother had the Sarge from this series...he actually wasn't that bad...the best looking of the Marauders. The others were just rehashed old guys with ugly colors. The vehicles were also rehashed, but those were actually awesome! Not only did old vehicles get new realistic color patterns, but got major weapons upgrades. The new Marauders have a toned-down camo scheme. No big, yucky bars of color, but actual camo. They still have blue highlights though.

You know, if it weren't for the excessive blue, this version of Spirit wouldn't be so bad. Back in the day, Spirit was the "Indian guy" of the Joe team...*sigh*...I don't wanna seem like a disrespectful jerk, but the subject of the character of Spirit could be one of debate. Some people probably hate the idea of him. SOme see him as a goofy stereotype, while others love him. What can I say? I'll admit, I'm no expert on the various Native American cultural groups out there today or in the past. The classic character was supposed to be a "mystic" tracker. He wore bright colors, had a headband and braids, fringed boots and a breech cloth, had a "pet" eagle, and even carried an "arrow gun"! One might say he was an ignorant stereotype, while others might think he was a celebration of certain Native American traditions. Eh, I won't dwell on that. The core figure is actually based off of a newer, more modern Spirit figure. This one got used as a Toys R Us exclusive single pack figure at the time of the first live-action flick. He didn't appear in the film, but a lot of toy characters did not. That Spirit was also a mild homage to a character from the Predator movie from the 80s...I forget which character. When the Pursuit of Cobra line started, Hasbro continued to make all the jungle-themed Joes as mild homages to the various jungle commandos from Predator. Kinda neat. Anyway, this version of Spirit uses the new style or look of the character. They did give him a new tattoo, though! I'm actually not sure if the tattoo has any meaning or anything (off the top of my head). The 25th Anniversary Spirit was pretty much the spitting image of the vintage version, but the head sculpt was quite lousy. I have it...coulda dug it back out...darn. Eh, trust me, very mask-like and ugly. Hasbro coulda done better. This version isn't as nice as the TRU exclusive. It also pays a very mild homage to the old Marauders Spirit. He's and okay figure overall.

ROAD PIG

Best for last? You decide. This is Road Pig. You know, I had talked about the whole "inspired by Mad Max" look a lot of the Dreadnoks have, and this guy takes the cake. Honestly, remember Master Blaster form Beyond Thunderdome? This guy seems to be almost inspired by the lower half of Master Blaster...the big, dumb, muscular half...the guy the little dwarf rode around on? Don't remember? Look it up! Anyway, Road Pig is one of the most iconic-looking Dreadnoks in my opinion, just on look alone. The Dreadnoks as whole conger up ideas of that biker/punk look I talked about before. Road Pig is the big, mean muscular dude. All the old Joe figures had (roughly) the same proportions. Nowadays, some figures are taller, skinnier, shorter, and even bulkier! Granted, this general body type was used before, but it works oh so well for the Road Pig  character. Easily the best updated figure of the Dreadnoks! He even still has his old anarchy symbol tattoo. The old and new Road Pig come with the same accessories (roughly). His old arm guard/shield was a black thingie with a serrated from part. His new shield is an old street sign! Awesome idea...goes with the idea of the Dreadnoks utilizing crude, barabaric weapons, sometimes made of found or repurposed objects. Nice touch...Hell, awesome touch! His new crossbow is bigger and badder just like the figure. The classic cinder block mounted on a club is back, although I still argue this is a crappy one-time-use weapon as a real cinder block would probably crumble after a few hits...just sayin'! He does come with one new weapon: a sword. Why? I dunno. He wasn't in the first Joe 'toon and I really don't remember him in the newer one. I wonder if he used a sword in the comics? Some kinda homage? I hafta look into that. Anyway, the uncharacteristic sword fits into a slot on the back of his armor. This might have been made to hold his hammer, but since it don't fit in too smotthly, maybe Hasbro just threw in the sword for fun? I dunno. I think the sword may have been intended for use with Bull for the Marauders set, but I'll talk about that when I talk about him...you follow? One thing the Road Pig character shares with Zartan, is that he's the only classic Dreadnok that got used twice! See, all the Dreadnoks just had one figure...well, one version. Zartan got his original release and then, years later, got an all-new sculpt when he was in Ninja Force. Road Pig had his original figure, plus got reused in a sub-line of figures with sonic attack back packs. That Road Pig was the same figure, but with a new paint scheme...a gaudy one! He almost got a third use in the canceled ninja-themed line near the end of the Joe run. Why? Who knows...he's have been a horrible ninja!

GNAW (previously known as Gnawgahyde)

Say hello to the Dreadnoks' resident poacher. This is Gnaw. He was originally know as Gnawgahyde which was a play on the words "gnaw" and "naugahyde" (fake leather). He's a victim of name change, for whatever reason. Aside form dog treat companies, I really don't see why someone would copyright Gnawgahyde, but oh well. He's Gnaw, now...quite simply. He wasn't featured in the older cartoon, but the newer one for the early 90s. The older version of the figure was a lot more cartoony-looking in my opinion. He had a big dumb mouth of gnashing teeth and a bright yellow leopard skin vest. The new one is more subdued. His big ol' grimace is now a sly, cocky grin...which I absolutely love! Makes him so much more evil. His old vest is now more realistic-looking. No more leopard skin, just a brown vest with new fur collar. Makes him look like the cousin of Kraven (the Spider-Man villain). His gun stock had a little leopard skin ammo pouch on it, which I assume is an homage to the original figure's leopard skin print. This new figure is a nice update which, although slightly different in decor, still captures the feel of the original. He does come with less accessories, though. Sorely missed is his old bow and arrow and his "pet" or animal companion: a wild boar. Darn! I always loved Joe figures that came with a "pet". No new-sculpt boar companion. Awesome figure!

ZANZIBAR

All the other Dreadnoks can be described as biker-thug punks...I guess...may be just my own vague opinion (I just hope I don't offend any bikers, thugs, punks, or any combination of those). This guy is the resident pirate-themed guy. Zanzibar is actually the name of some island off of the coast of Africa, somewhere. You'd think with the z-name, he might be another of Zartan's siblings, but no. Now, this modern version is the only one out of the Dreadnok set that really upsets me. Why? He's missing two elements that make Zanzibar...uh, er...Zanzibar! One, the old Zanzibar had a top-knot...a "real" tuft of rooted hair sticking up out of the top of his noggin. This guy has none...sheesh! They coulda at least made a plastic one, but no...they chose none. That is probably Zanzibar's most iconic element and the thing that made the vintage figure unique. He was the only one with "real" hair. The other thing is his chest. Even if you are not familiar with the character, you gotta admit...you look at this figure and it's just missing something, isn't it? The old version had a tattered brown shirt on with armored shoulder pads over it. This guy has the armored shoulder pads down, but no shirt. Eh, just makes the figure look unfinished. Both blunders are indeed major bummers, making him the only bad figure out of the group. Admittedly, I still dig this figure despite the blaring omissions. I like what they did with him. The old one actually had no sword. What kind of stereotypical pirate has no sword? Anyway, I like that they seemed to bring out the color scheme more on the modern figure and add the compound boots to the figure. See, toy companies often reuse parts for toys. Hasbro does it a lot these days. Back in the 80s, most early Joes were all original parts...nowadays, it's actually an expected cost-cutting measure to reuse parts. Most of the bodies on these figures were used before. I haven't bothered rattling off what all the figure parts originally went to. One other note is the eye patch. The old Zanzibar's patch was on his right eye, and the new one is on his left. I wonder...is this an official blunder? The head sculpt is all-new. I mean, they did leave out the top-knot and the shirt, so it is possibly just laziness in research on the designer's/sculptor's part. One other theory: Zanzibar's personality profile makes him out to be, basically, a total bullcrap kinda guy. His second figure (a straight repaint of the original) which was released only a few years ago as a convention exclusive set had a file card further making comment that his eye patch may just be "for show" and that he actually wears it for dramatic effect. So, he may be dumb enough to not pay attention to what side he's wearing it on?! Not to toot my own horn, but a good theory. All in all, I liked the old Zanzibar, even though I never had one. He wasn't in the show (I'm not sure about the comic), but he was apparently fairly popular amongst fans on looks alone. His file cards even mention his character as being the least liked amongst his Dreadnok peers. Hmph! Well, even though the new figure lacks some key classic elements, he's still cool enough.

ZANDAR

This guy is Zandar, and he's the brother of Zartan and Zarana...I don't know who the baby of the three is (a.k.a. the youngest one). His real name is now apparently Zachary, but no last name is given on his new file card. He is actually pretty faithful to the original Zandar toy...yep, those colors are so totally 80s, it's almost frightening! He has that punk/Mad Max look to him that we all usually think of when it comes to the Dreadnoks. The two main differences are his hair and his scarf thingie. His hair is now much longer. His scarf was originally just a small bandanna around his neck...now it's a full-blown scarf. Come to think of it, this may be the remnants of Zarana's trademark tattered shirt! Ha ha ha!!! At least we know that at least two of the Z-clan share a similar fashion sense. Anyway, Zandar is still gaudy as all Hell...he was kinda ahead of his time. Any Joe collector knows that pastel and neon colors became the norm in the 90s...much to our dismay. Since he was more or less in the minority back in the 80s, you kinda didn't really notice. Every once in a while you got some brightly colored figure in throughout the later 80s, after all. His bio always told us how he was always the person (even in childhood) that got looked over or forgotten. Kinda sad. Maybe that's why he dresses so flamboyantly? It's also no mistake he was the least popular of the Zartan siblings. Eh, I still like him. I really like the slight update we got too. Great figure...oh, and great "real" name to boot! I would still love to see a full-blown and heavily modernized version of Zandar some day.

THUNDER (previoulsy known as Thrasher)

Okay, time to continue my little reviews of the BBTS G.I. Joe sets...I'm moving into "classic" territory now. I never had any of the original Dreadnok toys...always loved 'em from the cartoon, though I never actually obtained any. Neither I nor my two brothers had any Dreadnoks...not even a Zartan! Anyway, before starting in on Thunder, I must say that I shall not be showing any pics of the old figures since I found a disclaimer at the beginning of the book I had used to scan images from. I guess I overlooked it before I got the idea in my head AND before I went through the trouble of scanning a bunch of images...dammit! I guess I just can't bring myself to break the law, no matter how pointless it does seem. Eh. So, no "dare to compare" shots. Sorry!

This is Thunder...well, Thrasher was his original name. See, sometimes these things happen...a company loses the rights to names and what not and hafta change or alter 'em...I don't care about all that legal crap...but like I mentioned above, it's the law. So, we get a name change for Thrasher. There was actually an old Joe named Thunder. Thrasher drove the Dreadnok Thunder Machine, so I guess it's a close enough name change. Eh. Anyhow, this guy is the spittin' image of his vintage counterpart...aside from technical details, he's pretty damn faithful to the original. Thrasher was only available with the Thunder Machine and never released loose. The vehicle was totally a Mad Max inspired piece of work...as was Thrasher. If you ever saw the flicks, you'd know what I mean. Thrasher's character was supposed to be some spoiled little brat who grew up into some moral deviant and generally nasty guy. He joined the Dreadnoks after basically happening across their little group. I remember form the cartoon, he showed up to the "Dreadnok tryouts" in the Thunder Machine and pretty much waited everyone else out and barged in to victory, earning his way into the 'Noks through treachery...the right way!  He's got a total punk, jerk-ass look going on...with his typical Dreadnok bare midriff and repurposed football armor. His weapon is an upgraded version of his old one, a lacrosse stick with a spiked ball embedded in it. Makeshift mace! He was always such a bastard on the cartoon, sounded like a prick...but that's what made him evil! This is a great remake of the classic...now if Hasbro could give us an update of the Thunder Machine...........

VACATION TIME!!!

Yeah! Oh, yeah! It's vacation time, baby! No...I'm not actually going on a vacation, I'm just using up my paid vacation time from work. See, if if you don't use it, you lose it. Eh, I just need a break this time of year, and this is perfect since we often hit an odd lull around this time. True, it's ugly and cold out and I have no where to go and barely anyone to hang around with, but I just plain like not having to go to work! I ran the gamut of pain-in-the-ass stuff on my last day at work, so I'm ready and rarin' for some free time for myself...no work! Oh, but it's supposed to snow tonight...shit...my first day of vacation spent shoveling...dammit. Helluva way to start a vay-kay...but hopefully this one won't get semi-ruined like my last vacation when I hit a deer halfway through!

BURNOUT

Burnout here is another newer character to the Dreadnoks lineup...but not new new, as he actually had a figure before. Yep. Back in the days of Spy Troops, Burnout was released. Damn...I actually have the figure...I coulda dug him out to compare! Stupid! Stupid! [facepalm]...*sigh*...at any rate, this new version is totally more mean-looking than the original. The first version didn't really have the dreads, like this guy seems to have...old Burnout had slicked-back, long hair...black, not brown. He also had gold barbed wire wrapped around his chest (ouch, he must been a real toughie), and blue highlights on his pants. This version has a much more subdued color scheme. Me likey! They also added a tattoo on his arm. The character was supposed to be a school dropout to some degree, hence his name: Burnout...although there are no allusions to *ahem* drug use on his file card, old or new. My only gripe about the figure re the weapons...yep, the figure rocks, but the shotgun seems a bit undersized and tiny. I would loved to see a big, rough-looking shotty as opposed to the dinky one Burnout got. The hose on his flamethrower bugs me too...not only is it too short, but made of hard plastic as opposed  to the usual vinyl hose. Eh, I can deal, though. He's too cool not to like! One other comment...the old Spy Troops Burnout had spy gear (of course). He came with disguise elements to make him look like a member of the military police...he had a vest, helmet, arm guard and riot shield...not bad! The new version has no such spy gear...darn.