Damn. Starting to get cold in my neck of the woods...winter's a-comin'...great. Naturally, I just had to spend most of yesterday and today outside at work, freezing my ever-lovin' ass off. Why must we always have the need to use the forklift every time the weather is absolutely horrible?! Because we have an ungodly amount of crap (merchandise) crammed into our store, we need to shove a lot into outside storage containers...it's a real pain. Driving heavy equipment might be fine for some people, but not me...too stressful. I hate driving a car to begin with, let a lone a heavy vehicle with two giant metal skewers on the front. Then, you have to have a spotter...so you are pretty much forced to drive at a snail's pace...and in crappy weather? Hell. I still have the chills! My upper body is sore from clenching and shivering. Our forklift is not one o' those fancy enclosed ones, either....ARGH! You know what...too much complaining...I can go on and on, but don't feel like fully reliving my last two pain-in-the-ass days. Oh, it'll be a pain until well after that filthy retail holiday...so I have SO much to look forward to!

I mentioned it getting colder...this not only refers to the weather, but my overall mood and outlook. I'm getting bitter. I'm so pissed at life. Every little thing that goes wrong just annoys the Hell outta me. I'm starting to worry that I'm becoming a bitter little bastard. I'm essentially letting my bitterness out a lot more. No more "only in my own head" complaints...I'm venting way to much verbally. All I can think of all day at work is getting it over with so I can go home and just do nothing. Pretty pathetic, huh? I'd rather do nothing than be at work. Yet, I don't want to always just do nothing. I wish things were better...just better. Pretty sad that I see fantasy as being so much better than real life. I find solace in the fictional world of comic books and little plastic action figure men. Hey, if the world around me was better...I'd be happier! I can't force change, even though I stubbornly try...and usually fail. Nobody seems to feel the need for change, or no one has the gumption to do it. I try to point out stuff I see wrong and everyone just gets annoyed at me or blows me off. I see shit at work that is being done wrong all the time...and...NO ONE LISTENS!!! I wish I could just be totally ignorant and waltz through the world all giddy-like and not see the bad. *sigh*

...........well.....*sigh*......some mildly disturbing internet venting helps a little. One day I'll figure out this thing you normal people call life. One day.